


Ten (Eleven) Years Later

by earlgreytea68



Category: The Office (UK)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2851175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgreytea68/pseuds/earlgreytea68
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Come back here in ten years. See how I’m doing then. Because I could be married with kids. You don’t know. Life just goes on."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten (Eleven) Years Later

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S MY VERY OWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL FIC!
> 
> In which I try to write a script-like thing. 
> 
> THIS WAS REALLY HARD. So now we all know I'm probably never going to pursue a career as a sitcom writer. But my love for this show is so undying and pure that I felt like I should commemorate the fact that it is now actually somehow OVER TEN YEARS after its Christmas special aired. I'm glad they're not revisiting the Tim/Dawn storyline because it was so perfect that I wouldn't want anything to spoil it, but I decided I would at least write up my own happy ending for them. 
> 
> I missed the boat on the tenth year anniversary last year and I feel bad about that, so here, have an eleven-years-later special. (It's ten years after the the DVD was released. Does that count?)
> 
> Merry Christmas! If you, like me, wonder why there's not more UK Office fic, then this is my gift to you. 
> 
> (And my answer to that question is: OH MY GOD IT'S HARD TO WRITE.)
> 
> (And also I think because it's such a perfect arc for the characters, it doesn't leave fanfic writers much to do. I have this whole theory about how a fandom needs to leave its fans just the right level of unsatisfied in order to inspire creativity.)

_[TIM in the UK Office Christmas special: Come back here in ten years. See how I’m doing then. Because I could be married with kids. You don’t know. Life just goes on.]_

[SCENE: TIM interview]

TIM: To be honest, I think it’s a little ridiculous. I mean, it’s been ten years, you think people would’ve moved on by now. You know? I mean, ten years later, what could people possibly be interested in? And what’s to be gained by, you know, dwelling on the past like that? You know? People change, people grow, people…move on.

[SCENE: OFFICE INT. TIM and DAWN enter.]

DAWN: This was a terrible idea. I’m getting bad flashbacks.

TIM: When you think about it, it’s a good thing they got rid of landlines because that way you got to stop having bad flashbacks every time the phone rang.

DAWN: What d’you think David’s ringtone is?

TIM: Himself.

DAWN ( _laughing_ ): I’m going to ask him—

GARETH ( _coming out of his office to see them standing by the reception cubicle_ ): Look who it is!

TIM: Gareth, your receptionist is terrible. Where is she? You should sack her.

GARETH: How do you know my receptionist isn’t a him?

TIM: You’re right, you should sack him.

GARETH: Nah, just kidding, it’s a she. And we don’t sack her because her twins are… (GARETH _whistles; pauses; looks at the camera_ ) Not her twins. I mean, she doesn’t have twins. I’m talking about her…milkers, you know, her… (GARETH _gestures to his chest in a large, circular motion_.)

TIM: We get the idea, Gareth.

GARETH: Her tits.

TIM: Yes. Yes, we understood.

GARETH ( _chuckling awkwardly, eyes keep flitting to the camera_ ): So. You still living with your parents?

( _pause_ )

TIM: No. No, I’m not still living with my parents.

GARETH: What about you, Dawn? You married to Lee?

( _pause_ )

DAWN: No.

GARETH ( _makes dubious sound_ ): Suppose you’re just wearing that ring for show, then?

DAWN: No, I’m married to Tim.

GARETH ( _shocked_ ): To _Tim_?

TIM: Yeah, we were dating when I left Wernham Hogg, Gareth, remember?

GARETH: Well, yeah, but everyone knew that wasn’t going to last. (GARETH _makes another dubious sound; looks toward camera for nervous confirmation_ )

TIM: ( _with a tight smile at the camera_ ) Oddly enough I think I preferred this conversation when it was about milkers.  

( _Enter_ DAVID. _With a_ DAVID _-ian flourish_.)

DAVID: Did I hear someone mention “milkers”? Are we already being naughty? There she is! Are we talking about your milkers, Dawn?

DAWN: Um, no.

DAVID: Well, I don’t think we’re talking about your milkers, are we, Tim? ( _giggle_ ) Although. You’ve got a bit…rounder, haven’t you?

TIM: No. No, I haven’t actually.

DAVID: ( _with the air of bring sorry to have to deliver such a sad truth_ ) I think you have, though. Got a bit fat.

GARETH: Yeah, you have.

DAVID: Let yourself go.

GARETH: You reckon Dawn’ll leave you?

DAWN: I’m right here.

DAVID: ( _shocked_ ) Oh, are you two still together?

[SCENE: TIM interview]

TIM: You like to think that the people you used to know maybe thought about you every once in a while, hoped you were doing well, you know, that sort of thing. You don’t like to think that the people you used to know are sitting around thinking, “Hey, remember Tim? I wonder if he’s still as pathetic as he was before.”

[SCENE: OFFICE INT. TIM, DAWN, and GARETH standing around, looking awkward]

(TIM _reaches out and picks up a stapler off a desk, just to have something to fiddle with_ )

GARETH: That’s…not yours.

TIM: …I didn’t think it was my stapler sitting on a desk in a building I haven’t been in in years.

GARETH: That’s company property.

TIM: ( _studying the stapler closely_ ) It doesn’t say that it’s company property.

GARETH: ( _glancing nervously at the camera_ ) Well, it is. It definitely is.

TIM: Actually, now that I think about it: Dawn, didn’t we lose our stapler?

DAWN: ( _gravely_ ) We did.

TIM: ( _holding stapler out to her_ ) I think this is our stapler.

DAWN: It does look like our stapler!

GARETH: It’s definitely not your stapler. It’s definitely Wernham Hogg’s stapler.

TIM: Let’s see if it works. ( _staples together some pages of a magazine laying on the desk_ )

GARETH: No. No. Those are Wernham Hogg staples you’re wasting.

TIM: Are they? Wernham Hogg staples? (TIM _staples the cuff of his sleeve, randomly_ )

GARETH: Why would you do that? Now you have company property on your shirt. Take off your shirt.

TIM: I’m not taking off my shirt—

GARETH: Take it off!

(GARETH _reaches for_ TIM. TIM _dodges him._ )

[SCENE: TIM interview]

TIM: ( _looking dazed_ ) He still drives me to lunacy. It’s ten years later, I’ve been in the same room with him for five minutes…and I stapled my shirt.

[SCENE: OFFICE INT. GARETH is now trying to attack TIM with a staple remover. TIM is continuing to dodge him. DAWN is flipping through a desk calendar, looking both bored and amused. DAVID enters]

DAVID: What’s all this? Having fun without me? (DAVID _tries to join in the fun. But, because it’s not fun, it doesn’t really work, and_ TIM _just ends up awkwardly dodging two people instead of one._ )

TIM: ( _to_ DAVID) What are you doing?

DAVID: ( _glancing at the cameras_ ) I don’t know. Having fun. What are you doing? ( _giggles_ )

TIM: Gareth is trying to attack me with a staple remover.

GARETH: He has Wernham Hogg property on his shirt. He has a Wernham Hogg staple on his shirt.

DAVID: ( _seriously; lowering his voice with another glance toward the camera_ ) Did you do that on camera?

TIM: …What?

DAVID: Did you steal that right in front of the cameras? I mean, photographic proof, mate. Not so swift, eh? Surveillance everywhere these days. We live in a surveillance state.

TIM: …It was a staple. I stapled my shirt.

DAVID: Shhh.

[SCENE: DAWN interview]

DAWN: I didn’t think there was anything we really needed to catch up on, you know? I mean, I didn’t think there was anything about this place I missed. And then there was my husband stapling his shirt for no reason. The father of my children. This whole reunion? Worth it.

[SCENE: CONFERENCE ROOM INT. DAVID, DAWN, TIM, and GARETH are seated around the table. TIM still has a stapled shirt cuff. DAWN is sketching throughout the scene]

DAVID: So what have you been up to?

TIM: Well, we got married.

DAVID: Married? Tied the knot? Got yourself a ball and chain?

GARETH: Bought the cow?

DAVID: ( _sternly_ ) Now that is offensive, Gareth. It’s offensive. ( _glancing toward the camera, then turning back to_ TIM) Who’d you marry?

(DAWN _looks up from her sketching._ )

TIM: …Dawn. I married Dawn.

DAVID: Oh. _Oh_. I thought we were talking about an earlier marriage. I mean, I assumed you’d married someone and then got a divorce.

(GARETH _nods along with_ DAVID _’s explanation_.)

DAVID: So you two have been together all this time?

TIM: ( _smiling tightly_ ) Yes. We have.

DAVID: Beating the odds then. Good for you. Good for you. Got any kids?

TIM: We do.

DAVID: Knocked her up, huh? Guess you figured out where all the pieces fit and what they were meant to do, eh? ( _giggles and looks at the camera; after a moment,_ GARETH _joins in_ ) What’d you end up with?

TIM: _(not understanding_ ) End up with?

DAVID: Boy? Girl?

TIM: Oh. We have a son—

DAVID: What’s his name, then? It’s not David, is it? ( _giggles_ ) I mean, wouldn’t that be a laugh? I wouldn’t think it was after me, but people would talk, Tim. Is it named David?

TIM: No, his name is Harry.

DAVID: ( _with forced cheerfulness_ ) Oh, well, plenty of time to have another, eh?

TIM: We do have another.

DAVID: ( _hopefully_ ) Named David?

TIM: No.

DAVID: It’s a nice name, you know. I mean, Harry? What were you thinking? Like the idiot boy with the glasses and the disfigurement? He looks like he should be a Children in Need charity case. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, we should be giving that boy all the help in the universe. But he’s pretty bloody rich by now, isn’t he?

TIM: …Are you talking about Harry Potter? Because he’s a wizard. And also fictional.

DAVID: And that’s what you have to watch out for, innit? People trying to take advantage of other people’s charity by inventing fake disabled children.

TIM: It’s true. Don’t even get me started on the house-elves, they ring me looking for money constantly.

DAVID: And, I mean, from a bloke named Tim? You going to be judgmental about names? I mean, no offense, mate, but did you name the second one after you? I hope you didn’t. Making a child go through life with the name Tim.

TIM: Our second one’s a girl.

DAVID: Oh. Davida, is it?

TIM: Mabel.

DAVID: Mabel…Davidette?

TIM: Mabel Elizabeth.

DAVID: Oh. Well. Not your fault.

TIM: Not my fault?

DAVID: That your second one’s a girl and David’s a difficult girl’s name.

GARETH: Actually it is his fault. Pretty sure his sperm is what—

TIM: We are not talking about my sperm. What have you been up to, David?

DAVID: Going on tour.

TIM: Tour for what?

DAVID: Making an album. ( _looks straight at camera_ ) It’s called Reality Road U-Turn. Look for it soon in a store near you. ( _winks_ )

DAWN: You making a CD?

DAVID: A CD?

DAWN: Where are they going to look for it in a store near them? Is it going to be a CD?

TIM: Probably going to be digital, isn’t it, David?

DAVID: Yes. Of course. Obviously. Digital. For download.

DAWN: It’s just that you might want to clarify…for the viewers at home…

DAVID: ( _looks straight at camera_ ) Download it soon from a website near you—No, that sounds terrible. That doesn’t have the same ring.

GARETH: Will you be able to download it for free?

DAVID: No.

GARETH: Not sure you’ll get many downloads then.

(DAVID and GARETH _continue to disagree about the price_ DAVID _should charge for his music._ TIM _and_ DAWN _watch while periodically exchanging smiles with each other._ )

TIM: ( _voiceover_ ) You know, it’s weird, but when you’re in the middle of changing nappies and paying the bills and burning the toast in the morning, you don’t really get to stop and think about it, but this has been…valuable. Stopping and thinking and remembering, how we got from Point A to Point B.

[SCENE: TIM interview]

INTERVIEWER: ( _off-camera_ ) Valuable in what way?

TIM: ( _thinks for a second_ ) Shows how much I got right, in the end.

INTERVIEWER: ( _off-camera_ ) Anything you would change?

TIM: Not one thing. Not a single thing.

INTERVIEWER: ( _off-camera_ ) Not even about this place?

TIM: If I change anything about this place, then maybe I’m not here today. And it…turned out better than I imagined. So I was wrong. There was a lot to gain by this. A lot of good things to remember, actually. ( _pause_ ) And now I know what I’m buying everyone I know for Christmas this year. Reality Road U-Turn.


End file.
